"Son, you cain't make chicken salad outta chicken shit."
"That's like tryin' to fish a wet noodle up a wildcat's ass."
"I ain't got nothin' agin ya, I just wanta get up in ya." the person considered this a smooth pick-up line
"They gone put Stone Cold in the jailhouse if he don't stop all that."
"He hain't got a damn licka sense."
"Don't I know you from the penitentiary?" said to me by a guy running one of the rides at the county fair
"I cain't have nothin'." said in a mournful tone
"Well, I swanee." I assume this means "Well, I swear."
"I despise them Nab-eatin' sonsabitches." in reference to the sheriff's department
"I have no apparent idea."
"Them tarcos got beside me." in reference to a bad Mexican lunch buffet
"You ever seen any of them Hawaiian women? Them's some perty sonsabitches." well, this was actually passed along to me second-hand, but I do know the guy who said it
Monday, July 30, 2007
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7 comments:
Did anybody ever tell you a story that concluded with their options being either to a.) shit, or b.) go blind?
I hear that story pretty much every day.
My boyfriend comes out with phrases like this all the time, but he's being facetious.
I think.
I hope.
Ah swear he done shit twice an died.
So, did that guy know you from the penitentiary?
I was in the state-sponsored Anonymous Conjugal Visitation program for a while.
Here's a new one I heard recently:
"I told that boy his daddy musta not had a good toe-hold or sumthin!"
said about some idiot new guy by the supervisor.
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