Ha, that Billy Mitchell is quite a douchebag character, isn't he? You are only playing Donkey Kong, dude. I'm going to rent this when it hits the DVDs, no doubt. I love kooky f*ckers like Mitchell (dig those ties and that .38 Special hairdo and beard).
My own guilt-ridden association with digital masturbation began with Mattel Baseball and Mattel Football. In Baseball, you used your red dot to strike another red dot, then ran your red dot around the bases avoiding the opposing red dots. In Football, you used your red dash to catch another red dash, and tried to avoid the other red dashes. For points. A few years ago, Mattel reissued these games under the "Classic" banner, and someone left both in an apartment out here when they moved out. I still have them in a drawer in my office room, but I haven't played either of them in a long, long time. I'm over the dots and dashes, I guess.
Then we got an Atari. Well, the Sears Video Arcade version, anyway. We weren't rich (fairly poor, as a matter of fact), and I never got a whole lot for birthdays or other occasions, but my Mom always tried to do up Christmas right, so on Christmas 1979 I was kickin' it with Combat (Well, it was called Tank in the Sears version). Even though Tank/Combat is a really crappy game, you couldn't tell ten year old me that, and I was fixated for days. That system was indestructible. You could bang it around all you wanted, and it still played just fine, as long as you remembered to use a pencil eraser to clean the connectors on the cartridges.
I was the focal point of the neighborhood for a while, until the others in the gang got their own. Whenever it was too hot or too cold, or it was raining too hard, we were all over at someones house glued to the Atari, playing whatever game was currently in fashion. Pitfall, River Raid, Pac Man, Space Invaders, Yars Revenge, Asteroids, Defender. We tried to coordinate our parental begging so we'd get games the other kids didn't have, exchanging them with each other when we were tired of playing. This kid Larry who lived on the outskirts of my neighborhood was a bit of a child prodigy (he would be taking college courses while he was still in the Ninth grade later on), and he came over for the specific purpose of mapping out patterns on Pac Man, taking notes as he played. I really didn't see the fun in that. I would sometimes close my eyes while playing just to see how far I could get in a game without crashing/dying. If you always know what's coming, how is that any fun?
When the Atari 5200 was released, I worked on the shrimp boat all Summer with my Dad, and cleaned up yards around the neighborhood, just to scrap up the money to buy one. Imagine my heartbreak when I found out that the 5200 was a silver-trimmed piece of crap, with truly awful controllers (they were loose and didn't re-center, and with the keypad were awkward to hold), and hardly any games. I did enjoy Popeye, Kangaroo, Pengo, and Star Raiders (finally got to use the keypad). I worked or saved to get all those, and asked for games as birthday/Christmas gifts otherwise. You had to be careful - if you got a crappy game you were stuck with it, stores wouldn't take a game back just because you thought it sucked, and they caught on pretty quick to that "Exchange a terrible game as defective for an unopened copy, then return the unopened copy" trick. There was no Ebay, and you just had to hope that the game you hated was loved by one of your friends (rarely did this luck befall me).
I had an Intellivision for a little while, right after the big video game crash of 1983, bought dirt-cheap on clearance with a ton of games and that voicebox module. Tron Deadly Discs was fun, but the system wasn't that great, so I sold it not too long afterwards.
Then I lost interest for a while, until the NES and Sega Genesis. We used to have Street Fighter II Turbo tournaments at a friend's house, taunting each other while we played. I'd get so mad I'd have to go outside to cool off. Once or twice I just got in my car and went home.
Then, Playstation. I'd get these systems, adore them for a while, then lose interest and sell them. Dreamcast was next, then Xbox, then the 360.
I'm not a video game freak, really. I never was one to play for hours on end. After an hour or so I'd want to put it down, unless there was someone else playing the games with me. I enjoyed the games while I was playing, but when it was over it was over. I always feel like I could be doing something more useful with my time after about an hour.
Someone I once used to know hated video games. Thought they were a complete waste of time. Maybe harmful. We had a heated debate about them one night, with me falling on the side that they were a better waste of time than watching Celebrity Justice or a cheesy reality show, since at least you'd get some mental stimulation out of figuring out a puzzle or mapping your path through the Nazi blockade. I could see some of this person's points (I myself am not into the crueler stuff like the GTA games), but it's always going to be a parental issue to me and not a governmental one. I don't know where all the hatred came from, because I only played games around this person twice (once when dinner was cooking and I was told I could, and once when there was a reality show on that I didn't care for - I hooked up my Xbox in the bedroom and played for that hour or so). I am pretty respectful of people, usually, and once I know someone doesn't have an interest in something I have an interest in, I keep it to myself from then on and try not to cram it down their throat. But at the end of it there weren't going to be any video games and children under the same roof as far as this person was concerned. I couldn't argue with the reasoning, much, but I did anyway.
This someone just didn't understand why I really played back then. See, when I was playing video games, for that hour or so I didn't feel like the world's biggest loser. I could blank out all those feelings for just a little while and be an intergalactic hero, or solve an impossible puzzle, or win WWII single-handedly. I could step outside of the worries and be a kid again, briefly, and let that rush I used to get sitting in front of the TV as a ten year old take over.
That was one of the things I latched on to during the two years, and I let it get out of hand. Whenever I felt bad I bought a game, or a used game, or a used game system. I own a lot of systems and games. There are games on these shelves that I have never played for more than five minutes. I think that was when I first got that tingling in my spine, that warning that I was on the verge, the edge, because they weren't making me feel better anymore. Mostly, they made me feel guilty. I would buy them, play them for about five or ten minutes, then put them on the shelf. That didn't work. I'll try another. And another. Maybe this used system will do it, and some different games. Until eventually I would just buy them and not play them at all.
This weekend I'm getting rid of a lot of it. I have a Game Cube and PS2 I bought cheap, and stacks of games I have only halfway touched (one or two unopened). I've already sold my DS and all the games a few months back. I have stacks of games eating up space, and the money from them will be added to the "Get me the hell out of this terrible situation I have jammed myself inside" fund. A little of it will go into freakStomp, because I believe.
I'm not selling it all. I am keeping my 360, because I worked hard to get it, and I really like Guitar Hero II and my WWII games (I have an absolute affection for these WWII shooter games, even the really bad ones, although everyone else seems to be growing sick of the WWII setting). I'm also keeping my PSP handheld, but not really for games. You can play videos and mp3s and even read books (it has an excellent photo viewer, and I take my downloaded Golden Age comics and put them on the memory stick). When freakStomp hits the road and starts doing conventions/shows, it will be nice to have to listen to music, or play some movies or TV shows I have ripped, or read during the down/boring/lonely times. Plus, yeah, there are WWII games for it.
I wish that person would have understood that I have hundreds of worries and doubts all day long, rolling around each other and twirling into a jumbled mess of noise inside my head, and sometimes I just want to turn it off for a little while, close my eyes, and see how far I can get before I crash/die.
And there is artistry in games, there are games with story and depth, there are games with cinematic scope. And yeah, even games for people who hate games. Here are a few off the top of my head, and even if you are not a fan of video games you might still like them (I'll keep it brief for those who already know about these games - for those who don't, you can investigate further on your own by clicking the links):
1. Guitar Hero II - This uses a guitar-shaped controller (almost full size), with a strum bar and buttons on the neck. It has licensed rock music, some covers, some by the original artists. This is a game for people who don't like video games. I've never seen anyone walk away hating it. Who doesn't want to be a Rock God and kick ass on The Foo Fighters' "Monkey Wrench" or Heart's "Barracuda" or even Spinal Tap's "Tonight I'm Gonna Rock You Tonight?" I'm surprised enterprising bar owners everywhere don't have this set up for tournaments and such, because it is a true blast, especially with other people around to cheer you on or co-op play the bass line.
2. Shadow of the Colossus - This is a love story, really, with an Asian theme. The love of your life has been killed, and you make a deal with some spirits to perform certain tasks in the hopes that they will resurrect her. There are some moral choices you have to make as you hunt down and slay the giant beings (Colossi) you've been assigned to kill, and you have to keep asking yourself how badly do you want to bring her back, what lengths will you go to for this love. It isn't the best gameplay-wise, but it has a beautiful, haunting, sweeping storyline which you will think about a long time after you finish playing.
3. Lumines - This is a tetris-like puzzle game with fun backgrounds and really good music which changes tempo and beats the better you play. Simple yet challenging, you can pick it up and put it down five minutes later and still have a fun time.
4. Psychonauts - A cute, quirky game where you're a "extra-special" kid at a camp for "special" kids who have the ability to enter people's minds and help solve their mental problems. Part puzzle game, part platformer, it has an engaging and funny story and a (sort of) Nightmare Before Christmas feel to the art style.
5. Loco Roco - A really unique puzzle game with an adorable art style and music where you...well, you might just want to click the link and find out. You only use two buttons to play this game. You can't not feel good after spending a few minutes with this, and the songs will stick inside your head.
6. LEGO Star Wars II - This is a hilarious retelling of the original (good) trilogy - Star Wars, Empire Strikes Back, and Return of the Jedi- in cute Lego block style. You get to play as various characters throughout the storyline, and there are lots of little secrets and in-jokes told with a wink along the way. Gameplay is simple enough for a small child, and there is a two-player co-op mode so you can sit with your kid (or your friend, or your spouse, or your special other) and laugh along together.
I might not always play games, especially as I grow older and my reflexes slow (and games are just getting harder every year) but part of me will always love them just for the memories of my old neighborhood gang crowded around the TV, laughing and carrying on and trying not to get eaten by the ghosts or whatever.
Tonight, though, for just a little while, I'm going to hook up the pretend guitar to the 360 and play Cheap Trick's "Surrender" and "Message in a Bottle" by the Police, and I'm going to wear my Rockstar cowboy boots while I do it, but I'm not going to close my eyes. I'm not good enough to do that, yet.
