Suggested Pen Names for the Aspiring Stripper-Screenwriter

Now that Diablo Cody's all over the damned place lately, I got to thinking about other names strippers with a story to tell (and doesn't every stripper have a story to tell?) can use, to maybe do a little coattail-riding and hopefully write themselves away from a life of bacteria-coated dollar bills being crammed into the ass crack of their thongs while being vomited on by middle-aged alcoholic businessmen. If you've got the talent, maybe you could have those bacteria-coated dollar bills crammed into the ass crack of your thong while being vomited on by middle-aged alcoholic Hollywood Producers!

Diablo Cody is a badass stripper-turned-author name. You need a badass stripper-turned-author name which reminds people of Diablo Cody and all that Juno money, so you can maybe score a direct-to-dvd gig which Blockbuster will place on the shelf next to Juno in the hopes that stupid people will rent it without realizing the difference.

Feel free to use any of these stripper names in the byline of your next heartfelt screenplay about a quirky girl getting into trouble and becoming a woman too fast:

Purgatory Porscha

Mephistopheles Montana

Lucifer Lapdance

Dusty Diabolique

Bambi Belial

Her Satanic Majesty Taffy

Houston Hellish

Tiffany, Princess of Darkness

Whisper Wormwood

Beelzebubbles

Feel free to add your own suggestions in the comments.